Family and Family
It started in September of 2017, grade 7, my first year in Canada. I went to a school in Northeast, Calgary. I got bullied multiple times throughout the year. The bullying got more and more intense and serious to the point where I became suicidal. I had no friends that I could share my troubles with, I couldn’t tell my parents because I thought they wouldn't care, I was all alone. I was being called a pig, ugly, getting pushed in the hallways, not being able to eat my lunch because people told me I ate too much.
"It started in September of 2017, grade 7, my first year in Canada. I was being called a pig, ugly, getting pushed in the hallways, not being able to eat my lunch because people told me I ate too much … I developed a purging eating disorder."
In the middle of grade 7 I developed a purging eating disorder. I was so concerned about my body that I started to cut off food and excessively started exercising. Every time I ate something I would start to panic and self-induce vomit. I lost 10 pounds in a very short amount of time and still wasn't happy with my body. At one point I wanted to end my life because I hated myself. I looked at myself in the mirror every night just looking at my imperfections, I had a very low self-esteem.
"At one point I wanted to end my life because I hated myself. I looked at myself in the mirror every night just looking at my imperfections, I had a very low self-esteem."
My skin started to break out because of the insufficient amount of nutrients I was intaking, I started to hate myself more than ever. The year ended with me being 5 foot 3 inches with a weight of 99 pounds. I lost so much weight and I still wasn't satisfied with my body.
"My parents knew something was up and were worried sick about me … I moved to SGA, [where] I met my current group of friends."
My parents knew something was up and were worried sick about me. They found out about what had been happening and decided to move me to a different school. I moved to SGA. I was still suffering from my disorder; I wore sweaters and cardigans over all my outfits. I was so insecure about my body and didn’t want anyone to see what I looked like. I never brought lunch, never ate. Until I met my current group of friends.
"Having friends who care for you is the best feeling in the world. They help you overcome tough situations and fears, and I want to thank all my friends for being there when I needed them."
My friends encouraged me to eat but I was very stubborn. I didn’t listen to them until I started to get sick easily but I didn’t want to make it noticeable, I continued my unhealthy habits and kept on losing weight until I realized I was becoming weaker not only physically but also mentally. I felt dizzy and lightheaded all the time and once I fainted and ended up in the hospital and that was the day I realized I'd messed up and I needed to change.
At the end of grade 8, I changed my eating habits and gained weight. It hurt me a lot when I saw I was gaining a lot of weight but I didn’t stop myself; I kept eating when I wanted to. Now I'm 5 foot 4 inches with a weight of 125 pounds. I would have never been this happy without my friends, they supported me through my rough times and they are the reason I didn’t take my own life, they're the reason I'm happy with my body. Having friends who care for you is the best feeling in the world. They help you overcome tough situations and fears, and I want to thank all my friends for being there when I needed them.
- November, 2020
