My Uncle, my Idol

As far back as my memories go, my uncle was my best friend and my idol. This tall, muscular man who still managed to have a beer belly after all the working out, we called him “Oaf”. His energetic attitude and his daredevil-like stunts never failed to get us just as hyped up as he was, constantly out doing tricks with his motorbike. One time he did a stoppie on the bike and my slipper flew off, he couldn't hear me yelling for it so I watched from the back of the bike as my lone slipper was left behind. We got it back eventually. My younger self was having so much fun, I was blind to what was right in front of me.

"My uncle and I used to ride normal bikes too, sometimes down to the pub where he would buy more of the drugs he was struggling so badly with, as I stood outside and waited in the parking lot with not a clue as to what was going on behind that tinted glass."

My uncle and I used to ride normal bikes too, sometimes down to the pub where he would buy more of the drugs he was struggling so badly with, as I stood outside and waited in the parking lot with not a clue as to what was going on behind that tinted glass. Many, many years went by until the man I looked up to was an addict, but not one of those guys on the street who lives in an entirely different world. My uncle was different than that: he had a family with a beautiful wife and two gorgeous little girls, he worked his butt off to provide for them too. He fought his battles with the support of his entire family, yet at the same time he was fighting them alone. We were all there to visit him as much as possible during the times he was in rehab, trying to keep him focused on the positive so he wouldn’t go back but it never proved successful. Rehab after rehab after rehab.

"It was Sunday, October 1st, 2017. In my house, Sundays are usually family days, so we decided to have my uncle, aunt and two little cousins over for a nice day to hang out and eat dinner together ..."

It was Sunday, October 1st, 2017. In my house, Sundays are usually family days, so we decided to have my uncle, aunt and two little cousins over for a nice day to hang out and eat dinner together; it was a great day. My uncle seemed clean, he wasn't out of it or anything like that, we all noticed it and we were all so happy. October 3rd, two days later, I was pulled out of class and told I was being picked up by my step-father. After collecting my things, I headed for the door where my step-father was waiting for me.

"October 3rd, two days later, I was pulled out of class and told I was being picked up by my step-father. Not even five steps out of the school he told me, “Your Uncle was found dead this morning. I'm sorry.” I froze ..."

He didn’t look happy as we walked out the front doors. Not even five steps out of the school he told me, “Your Uncle was found dead this morning. I'm sorry.” I froze for five seconds, it felt like five years. So many emotions came flooding in: shock, despair, then disbelief, more despair. It was the worst feeling I have ever experienced. As a kid, I had some relatives die, but I was way too young to understand what death really meant. I knew it meant that I would never see him again, no matter how bad I wanted to. The last memory I would ever have of my idol was from Sunday, October 1st, 2017.

"It's hard for me to hear people talk about drugs and addicts the way they do, because my uncle was the most loving, caring, thoughtful person I knew."

I couldn't keep myself together, the second my mom walked in the door I burst into tears, it was not a good day. It's hard for me to hear people talk about drugs and addicts the way they do, because my uncle was the most loving, caring, thoughtful person I knew.

- November, 2020